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第34部分(第4页)

knew how much bullshit Al would take from him in the name of auld lang syne。 If

Ullman was as good as he claimed to be; and if he gave Al a he…goes…or…I…go

ultimatum; might not Al be forced to take it? He closed his eyes and tried to

imagine telling Wendy。 Guess what; babe? I lost another job。 This time I had to

go through two thousand miles of Bell Telephone cable to find someone to punch

out; but I managed it。

He opened his eyes and wiped his mouth with his handkerchief。 He wanted a

drink。 Hell; he needed one。 There was a cafe just down the street; surely he had

time for a quick beer on his way up to the park; just one to lay the dust 。。。

He clenched his hands together helplessly。

The question recurred: Why had he called Ullman in the first place? The number

of the Surf…Sand in Lauderdale had been written in a small notebook by the phone

and the CB radio in the office…plumbers numbers; carpenters; glaziers;

electricians; others。 Jack had copied it onto the matchbook cover shortly after

getting out of bed; the idea of calling Ullman fullblown and gleeful in his

mind。 But to what purpose? Once; during the drinking phase; Wendy had accused

him of desiring his own destruction but not possessing the necessary moral fiber

to support a full…blown deathwish。 So he manufactured ways in which other people

could do it; lopping a piece at a time off himself and their family。 Could it be

true? Was be afraid somewhere inside that the Overlook might be just what he

needed to finish his play and generally collect tip his shit and get it

together? Was he blowing the whistle on himself? Please God no; dont let it be

that way。 Please。

He closed his eyes and an image immediately arose on the darkened screen of

his inner lids: sticking his hand through that hole in the shingles to pull out

the rotted flashing; the sudden needling sting; his own agonized; startled cry

in the still and unheeding air: Oh you goddamn fucking son of a bitch 。。。

Replaced with an image two years earlier; himself stumbling into the house at

three in the morning; drunk; falling over a table and sprawling full…length on

the floor; cursing; waking Wendy up on the couch。 Wendy turning on the light;

seeing his clothes ripped and smeared from some cloudy parking…lot scuffle that

had occurred at a vaguely remembered honky…tonk just over the New Hampshire

border hours before; crusted blood under his nose; now looking up at his wife;

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